Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
