Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
