Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
