Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I cut my penus on the lid.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
