My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
