Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
nutella sex= disaster
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
