Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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