If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm both gender and math confused
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
