I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
