problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
