make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
