Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
