Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
