hotel room ftw
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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