My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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