dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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