Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
