omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
