Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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