after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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