He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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