So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
