she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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