I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
