why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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