butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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