Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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