THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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