so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
