I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Terrible idea I love it
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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