I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
