nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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