"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
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I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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