he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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