No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
