just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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