I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
