lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
