Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
