woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
