I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
