Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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