the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize