yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
