my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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