'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
