I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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