Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
