I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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