I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
