eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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