he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
