It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm passing your future prison.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
