one might say we're banned from that church
i just had sex bonerless
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
