you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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