Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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