I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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