i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
