god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
