Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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