dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
