I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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